Break down the defense mechanism and move forward!

This vignette links closely to my previous blog on peer reviews of our written submissions. I'm a little conscious that there is a tendency to put up a wall of defense around ourselves for a variety of reasons. What I mean is that when we are approached to discuss our work, not only what we produce, but how we have produced it, we can often be very defensive about what we do and how we do it.

Unfortunately, this defensiveness manifests in a lack of enthusiasm to talk about our work and avoid meeting colleagues or managers, sometimes being borderline rude. This does not do us any good at all because we then lack the opportunity to improve our work and learn from the experience.

The question I ask is why do we respond in this way?

On reflection I believe it stems from a lack of trust. So often our work and /or performance is critiqued by people who do not have the appropriate skills to do so, but who believe they have the right. The lack of trust comes from the follow on actions and the poorly managed processes for reviewing what we do and what we produce.

Often our work is reviewed out of context. People will make comments on our performance without fully understanding the environmental issues and will make poor decisions based on perspective rather than reality.

To avoid any negative response to a review I recommend the following.

First of all don't second guess or assume the worst when your work is to be reviewed. Don't begin those negative monkey thoughts of all the bad things that can be said. Look at the situation from fact...not the ongoing fiction in your mind.

Be proud of your work and willingly open yourself up to discuss what you have done. Promote the opportunity and welcome the chance to learn so that next time the delivery will be even better.

More important, see this as a great opportunity to provide learning to clients and colleagues. Most sales people will tell you that every rejection brings them closer to a sale. It follows that every question brings you closer to a magnificent performance.

So rather than prepare yourself to attack or defend your corner, I suggest you take a deep breathe and take a step back. Then another and then another yet again. Withdraw from the need to defend and just Be. Create a positive mindset and embrace the opportunity to learn or teach...most value will come from both experiences.

Break down the barriers of negativity and willingly discuss your work and your performance and in this way you will move forward and you will be more successful as colleagues identify you as a key team player!